Just felt putting an update. And to tell you, there are LOTS of things that happened. Ups and downs.
The last time I was here was telling you about the fight that the boyfriend and I had. And of course, the pictures I just wanted to post for sharing :)
So here goes, the boyfriend and I had a major fight. I can't remember the exact date (and I'm sorry. I promise I will take note of the dates and happenings from now on.), maybe it was last, last week. All I can remember are not the exact details, so this will be a little fragmented. I think It started with, a day where after he coming home from school and I don't get a lot of text from him. I remembered us talking about something, (something about ex.es and jealousy I guess, that I think was a little shallow.) and I thought that pissed him of a bit, that when I received a text, "Let's drink". I replied, "Go, and make sure to get drunk.". Then he replied that his father was inviting him to drink to celebrate a worker's birthday. And I was like 'Okay'. Later, it dawned on me that that was a wrong sent, and was supposedly be for friends whom he is inviting to drink too, WHEN he doesn't even send me anything. Liqour and friends before me? Okay, I'm pissed this time. But not entirely until he texted me when my work hours has ended. There were two texts. One was, "You go here love, okay?", and I replied without reading the other text yet "Where?" ('coz I don't know if they are at their house or at their commercial building). When I read the second text "[name here], [name here], [name here].... are here". And I was like, how come I didn't know you inviting them, them going there and the process? That ticked everything. And I shut my phone off. I guess what he did made me feel neglected. I dunno. I don't like the idea that he informed everyone else first before me, and I don't like the fact that there are girls I'm not comfortable hanging around with. So, theres the jealousy kicks in. And I was like "Are you the only one who has the right to get jealous?". While I had given up the okay-casual-relationship with my ex.es, you get to hang out with yours?
I texted my mother instead, using my dear friend's phone, to pick me up from my drop off point. And I went home straight. Luckily, I was left alone at home. I was so mad back then. I can't explain the feeling. Thought of one thing that led to another and led to another. I'm just so pissed about everything. I started writing down how I feel. Every single thing that pissed me off. I can't remember how many bond paper pages that was (the last time I wrote was 4 pages). But it was definitely A LOT. That it took me 4 or 5 hours(??) to finish. While writing, I turned my phone on every hour for 15 mins. At the first hour, I received his 'off-line' messages. But the succeeding hours, nada. So that pissed me off more. Knowing that he doesn't even checked on me, whether I'm still alive or did I get home safely. I expected him checking me at home if in case he is definite that I'm mad, but he didn't. I decided I will get some sleep, that's around 6am. And I'm quite sure that's the time I heard his motorcycle too, which means he just went home. So, before going to bed I called their house, talked to their househelper and asked about the boyfriend. And, he's at home. And yes, he just arrived. So, that did it. I tried hard to sleep, and I did. After waking up, I checked my phone, and not a single text from him. Not telling me that he's home or whatsoever. This time, I called him. I told him that he's too much then I dropped the call. Then he started calling me back. I rememebered not answering my phone, calling our other friend, had a little talk but really wanted to know about what time they finished and some details. I remembered calling their house again and checked whether he went to school. And he didn't, of course. He's just too wakeful and tired to go to school. Another thing to be pissed off. It's okay to get drunk and stay out late, just make sure you won't take for granted your responsibilities. So, I went on my routine. Prepared for work, but before leaving, I left the letter at their house. At the van, I called him and told him that I gave a letter to their househelper. So, there. I said it all. We talked. He apologized. I think I heard what I needed to hear then. I also knew that he called mother to check on me. And mom told him that I'm already at home. So he checked on me, and he knew that I'm mad. The hangover of the fight stayed for how many days, almost a week I think. Little thing pisses me off. Something happened when he's on a friend's 'despidida' party. We were texting, and one thing led to another. Fought again. With my hangover of the fight and all, I dropped the phone. Texted him about something. And he went home (my place) immediately. And told me "Don't say that again". [I just want to hug him, when this soft side of him appears.] So there. We oftentimes fought. When one disagrees about something and the other agrees. When one approves and one disapproves. Misunderstandings. Fights, fights and fights. We just need to remember that, There is no true love without the fights.
All of it were bearable. Nothing that I can't handle. He is a man under construction. What he needs is someone who has enough patience to accept that this will not be an easy process. There will be countless times of fighting. And times that giving up seems to have more sense than staying.
But after all of these, I'm staying. xoxo
P.s. I'm gonna tell you next time about good things. Maybe tomorrow.
Happy sixth-month anniversary. I love you so much.
