.four.

Let's start it on last Friday.

It was, well, a day where I wanted to tell everything to The boyfriend. It was suppose to be a joke. 'coz I know how he will deal with confrontations. But it ended as a real confrontation. He was mad, really. But I reacted differently this time, instead of doing the usual , going after him, I let him do what he wants. He told me he'll leave, and I did not do anything. I didn't even stayed near him then. It was like "now or never" situation. If I'll continue doing what I am used to do, stroking his ego, we won't be going anywhere. I told him I want our relationship to grow. I want us to talk about things openly, without me being too cautious that he might get mad or what. Normal couples talk about problems. They deal with it. talk about how to get rid of it or change it. Not let it aside.

And it ended good. In fact, he went to me (I was in the kitchen then and he was in the bedroom). He listened to all my talking. I know how hard it is for him to stay quiet. He is not that good with confrontations , as I have said (Well, me neither. But I won't let it be that way when it comes to our relationship). He didn't gave me his usual. He just stayed quiet until I ended. After, I reached out. Kissed him and we finished our hot mug of chocolate, then went to bed. And I had one of my best make-up sex ^^

It was hard to be this way, especially that I'm used to be the "follower" in the relationship. My previous partners are the one who initiates the talk. Or what to do and how to deal. But, being on this relationship makes me more responsible in a lot of ways. It isn't just a follower in me that he helped me apply, but the leader too. He helped me discover traits I didn't know I have. He made me a better person. xoxo

" Love is not always enough. "

.three.

I've been thinking a lot of things lately.

Things might not go as it was planned. My dad might decide to bring me back to the province to continue my studies. And you know what that means, being far away from The boyfriend. I'm worried, yes. Can he make it? Can we make it? I'm still not into grasps about this. But still it bothers me lately. Because I know it is a big possibility. When my dad says so, it's now or never, grab it or lose it forever. And I know I can't pass up that chance. I've wasted an opportunity before, I don't want to do that again. I don't know how will I prepare The boyfriend for that kind of separation. I know we'll work things out. I know we will. The boyfriend has been a different man, he changed for the better. And he still is in the process. I can't put that to waste. He has worked a lot already. And God knows he needs me. (I know I sound so full of myself, but Hell, I'm not kidding. It's just the way The boyfriend is.) He is very dependent. I fill his needs, and he fills mine. It's a mutual completion when we're together. I can't let that go to waste. Still thinking. xoxo

" I made a life out of loving you. "

.two.

I won't get tired of you and besides, I love you very much.

I was tired last night but we still stayed up until six am. Drank with friends and looked for food. It was fun, having these experiences with The boyfriend. I remember when we are still drinking, while everybody else is laughing their heads off about Jamie, The boyfriend and I were just talking, having our own world and laughing on our own reasons. It was fun that way. Sometimes, it still makes me wonder how we can remove everybody else and concentrate on each other. It's as if, everything is well, as long as we are together. Well anyway, we were very, very tired. And to think that he needs to get up really early to go prepare for school. Haha. He has like only three hours of sleep. [Wawa atabibi] ^^

Anyway, I'll be spending my night with The boyfriend. And I'm just about as excited as ever to go home (--,)

Oh! Btw, Jhaicz has a camera already. Yay! The boyfriend said last night "We have another camera." Haha.

Wonder when will I have real pictures posted here for my every entry.. Tsk. I'm planning to have a laptop of my own, to do this whenever, wherever! Haha. Still gonna process a credit card. Pssh. xoxo

" I know you were trying to give me the best of your love, here in my heart, i give you the best of my love"

.one.

                        Thank you love, I love you so much.ü

How I love to wake up knowing how much you love me. It was a fun weekend. I got drunk and we got drunk and we drinked. That's Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

          " You don't force love to come to your life, for love comes freely and chooses no one... one day, you might just wake up falling for the person you least expected. "